Nancy was a badass!

It was in the first month of Nancy’s stay at the nursing home, The Lieberman Center. I had met some of the staff in person and by phone. I received a phone call one day. It was from her social worker.

“Hello, Joe. It is C**** from Lieberman. I am calling about Nancy.”

“Is there a problem?” I asked.

“No…she is ok.”

“All right, so what is your call about?”

“Well…well maybe a problem. But not a health issue.”

I became a little worried. “What is the issue?” I asked.

“Well, it’s her language. Can you talk to Nancy about her language?”

I was confused. “You mean she has stopped being verbal?”

“No. No. The problem is her profanity. Her profanity upsets some of the staff. Can you tell her to stop it?” After a little prodding she finally repeated the two main words Nancy used, “fuck” and “shit.”

“Is she saying ‘fuck you’ to staff? I agree that would be problematic.”

“No she never does that. She just uses the words frequently and staff are upset when they overhear her muttering to herself if she drops something and swears as she struggles to pick it up.”

“So she isn’t using her profanity against anyone in the building?” I wanted to clarify.

“No. Definitely not.”

“Well, I must say that Nancy has been profane since I have known her. It has never bothered me and there isn’t anything I could do about a practice of hers that has been an integral part of her vocabulary (and personality for the over 60 years I have been aware). I appreciate you calling but there are so many much more important real problems that could be affecting Nancy and her stay at Lieberman. There is nothing I can do and i suggest you spend some time counseling the staff that cannot deal with a profane little old lady.”

I immediately called Nancy. This was a part of our daily practice. She hated the nursing home and so I called her three times a day, every day to support her and help her feel less bereft.

I opened with, “Young lady, can you watch your fucking language?” She was confused until I explained about the call from C**** about how some staff were uncomfortable with her profanity.

“Are you sure?” “Really?” she asked.

“Yes Mom,” I reassured her.

“Oh, fuck them” she responded incredulously (and hilariously cutely).